Being a donor sibling comes with a huge sense of responsibility. Being the oldest of three, there was always a sense of responsibility to look after my brother and sister – to take care of them when times got tough. I nurtured them and made sure they were ok. I tested the limits with mom and dad so my younger siblings knew what they would be able to get away with when they reached my age. As the oldest child, you are kind of mom and dad’s experiment child. They are still figuring out the rules, how to raise you and try to get away with things as if they haven’t been through this before. For all of the older siblings out there, you know what I’m talking about. This is my perspective on the loss of a sibling.
But, when your sibling dies, you take on a whole new perspective and an entirely new sense of responsibility. No longer do you feel the need to take care of your siblings – you now take on the care of your parents. The loss of a child is something a parent should never have to experience. You are there for them when they cry, step in and pick up the pieces your sibling left behind. You never think your parents will need you to take care of them, but they do.
The loss of a sibling is horrific. A piece of you is gone when that sibling leaves this earth. You lose not just a sibling, but you lose a friend. Losing my brother was like having a piece of me disappear that I will never get back. He wasn’t just my brother. He was my best friend. My siblings and I have always had a close bond. Having our trio become a duo was the hardest thing we have ever been through. But through it all, it has only strengthened our bond that much more. Big hugs to all of the siblings out there going through a loss.
– Mandy Montgomery, donor sister
To learn more about our aftercare support program, visit our donor family page.
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