It’s Mother’s Day, and I’m reminded that it’s another holiday spent without the physical presence of my son. It’s been almost four years now since my son Marvin “Chip” Wilkerson died. For those that may wonder does it ever get any easier – does the pain lessen as the years go by? My honest answer is: I miss him every day, and I don’t expect the feeling will ever go away. I don’t feel guilty that I still grieve and miss my son. The question I have for others that ask, and don’t seem to understand, is why should I stop grieving the loss of my son? I miss my child every day. I still love “Chip” more than I ever could have imagined, and yes, I do mean present tense “love.” A mother’s love for her child doesn’t require physical presence; this can be proven by the fact that most mothers love their children well before they are even born. I will hold close to my heart the many memories, and I will love my son, Marvin, forever, and therefore, I will always grieve.
I long for the day as described by former Vice President Joe Biden: “The day will come when the memory of the person you lost brings a smile to your lip before a tear to your eye — that’s when you know you’re going to make it.”
So, my message of advice to all mothers that are traveling along this journey: whatever you do, believe you will make it through the day. With time, the grief storms will grow smaller and less frequent, and you will find a little more balance – and even learn to still dance in the rain. Believe you will be okay, and have hope that in the future, you will find yourself in a place where you can “grieve” and celebrate on Mother’s Day and every day – all at the same time.
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